These are thoughts put together when I was around 20 years of age (just found an old paper which had these on and have just typed it out!)
Relationship between people is a complicated and intricate
puzzle. It is a mixture of emotions, sensitivities and misunderstandings. It is
a rather complex phenomenon when one takes into account the fact that behaviour
of persons change with time, surroundings and mood. A person might react very
favourably to a particular thing at one instant of time and the next instant he
might develop an aversion towards it. In a good mood a person might say ‘Yes’
for a thing which he otherwise would have said ‘No’.
A relationship between two persons is highly unpredictable
because each person has his own moods and idiosyncrasies which are independent
of the others’ mood. The point to note here is that the moods are independent.
One, being in a jolly, devil-may-care mood might yak of something which the
other will take to heart being in a bad mood. This might result in the breaking
up of a good relationship. It is only when two people are very good friends
that they resonate; one understands how the other is feeling and acts
accordingly. Such a state is very difficult to achieve. One individual, being a
completely different entity from the other, can never understand the other
person completely. And also there is nothing like understanding a person completely,
a because a person is not like a book, where you can say, after reading upto
the last page, that you have completed
that book. On the other hand, a person is like a diary which is being updated
every second. Each and every second, a host of impressions are incident upon
the person and the person reacts to these incidents and there is a change in
him.
Another person, different from him, can never claim that he
knows him thoroughly since that ‘him’ is not the same ‘him’ as he was a year
ago, a day ago or even a second ago. Everybody is changing and at best one can
know another person to the extent of knowing his broad ideas, his likes and
dislikes in the broadest sense possible. What I want to drive home is that one
cannot predict the future behaviour of a person, on the basis of knowing him
upto some point of time.
One more thing which makes human relationships interesting is
the fact that one always acts on the basis of what one thinks the other is
thinking of him. This also makes things rather funny and tragic at times. Most
of the time man deduces a lot of things from the others’ actions, speech etc.
These deductions arise from the fact that he would have exhibited similar
actions, speech etc. when he wanted to convey that meaning. But, at
times, it happens that the other person was not trying to convey what this
person has deduced and this results in a lot of confusion and misunderstanding.
There won’t be any conflicting ideas as such, but some missed signals, some
minor actions which are no way related to the others persons’ response
completely distort the meaning wanting to be conveyed and mess up the
relationship. And it is a minority who are very frank in their speech. Most of
the people do not word out their intention and this leads to further problems.
Just wording out the intention doesn’t help in solving things, one has to make
sure that the same misunderstanding is not repeated again and this can take
place when there is perfect understanding between the two.
Relationship between two persons when they are alone and
when they are in a group again differs. When they are in a group, they cannot
be frank and they might act in a different way than they would have otherwise.
